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66) German banks don’t often feel the need to be open. 70) Should a contestant, for example, on a family friendly ‘celebrity special game show’ or something, be a nude model, German TV is totally down with displaying a great deal of her portfolio, to the audience at home. 77) Boris Becker and Til Schweiger are the go-to celebrities for game shows.
And if they are open, it’s never at a time that’s convenient for anybody else. 68) Similar to how they worship wurst, Germans worship the pig. 78) Germans are bizarrely wary of drinking tap water. Many trends appeared and most hilarious observations were repeated, which suggests to us they are totally anthropologically sound. In fact the most passionate you will ever see a German is when they are watching, talking about, thinking about, dreaming about or playing, football.
Our new favourite expat blogger Liv Hambrett penned this epic list when she lived in Münster, Nord Rhine Westphalia. What they do during those short hours is probably double what every other country manages to do in twice the time. 22) They love a large, mind-bogglingly well stocked hardware store (with a bratwurst stand out the front).
While a lot of it differs to the things we’ve learned while living in Berlin – and it sounds like our clubs are a lot better! They work hard and effectively (despite working some of the shortest hours in the Western world). 13) They speak English better than most English people I know. a man they continue to embrace by playing “Looking for Freedom” far, far more than any other country. Perhaps because they quietly live by the mantra, if you want something done well, do it yourself … Therefore they must be permanently well equipped to do things themselves.
This is relegated to the toaster (‘toast brot’) and sandwiches made with sliced bread enjoy a disproportionately small section of the bakery display. Interestingly enough, they are not called Dachshunds in Germany, despite it being a German name, and are instead called ‘Dackels’. Cover themselves with it and inhale the scent of paper. 71) Germans worship (as well as wurst and bread) at the altar of the three Ps – Practicality, Punctuality (see point 5) & Planning.
I suspect this adoration of Dachshunds stems from their physical similarity to wurst (when I say suspect, I mean ‘I am certain’) because, and I cannot bullet point this enough … 64) Germans extract a curiously large amount of pleasure from the acts of giving, receiving and processing paperwork. 65) Those who work for the German government seem to … It’s like their entire system is efficient enough to work by itself, without humans doing anything except photocopying and stamping things. 72) They are rather thrifty and don’t have the weird Anglo qualms with talking about money. 74) They are bizarrely superstitious about wishing people a Merry Christmas too early, opening presents early and celebrating birthdays early. 76) They like buying drinks in packs of 6 1.5l bottles which are then dutifully recycled, bottle by bottle.
The delay comes with your ticket purchase, free of charge. This sense of honesty will eventually rub off on you.
They don’t seem to have gotten the hang of shift work that would enable the bank to remain open for lunch. There is no part of the pig that cannot be boiled, shredded, fried, processed, mashed, diced and consumed. We collected their comments, tweets and Facebook responses, and the following is an amalgamation of some very funny observations. 80) You may also catch a German in an act of passion if you raise the topic of cars.
Germans love their cars and are very proud of their ability to make such good ones. 81) It is a good thing they have good cars and an Autobahn of terrifying speed because the Deutsche Bahn is Germany’s dirty little inefficient secret.
I felt guilt-ridden for an entire day when I once avoided eye contact with a friendly DB ticket inspector in the dining cart because I didn’t have the correct ticket. 83) Germans of a certain age seem to really enjoy Jack Wolfskin jackets.
He didn’t check me, I didn’t volunteer to buy one off him, it was just a cesspool of dishonesty. Prior to turning 60, the preferred brand seems to be Woolrich.
And what kind of further education you go on to do, whether it be university for an extremely long period of time (honestly, no one does university quite like the Germans) or one of Germany’s millions of Ausbildungs.